Search This Blog

Friday, December 21, 2012

Heartmates - Partnering the Heart Patient, an Important Life Mission

When DH was diagnosed with his heart problem, I purchased a book on Amazon entitled Heartmates by Rachael Freed.  The book came in the same box as some other Christmas presents that I had ordered, and I had forgotten that I had purchased the book way until after I had gone through the two stent placements and all of the ups and downs that go with it.

When I got into the Amazon box to wrap the presents, and found the book.  Uggggghhhhh!  I sure could have used that book.  I thought about donating the book, now that I had been through my trial, but then I thought, "No, I still need to read this book."

I still haven't read it, but I have to say that I really like the title.  I just glance at the book, and it reminds me that I am my DH's heartmate.  That because we are partners, he is having a successful outcome, and that I have played an important role in his diagnoses, and his recovery.  It makes me feel very valuable and encourages me to keep being his partner in keeping him well.

This week I was down with the flu, so badly, that I had to go to bed and be incoherant for 24 hours.  During that time DH ran the show.  He snow-blowed the 14 inches of snow off of our sidewalk, made trips to and from the grocery store, did the dishes, and laundry.

Later that night, he confessed, "Without you helping me make my meals, it's hard to find something to eat."

He didn't hear me when I eeked out earlier in the day, "I made spring rolls and bean burgers for you, they're in the second fridge."

I was a little put out that he didn't hear me, but then I thought what he said was a compliment.  He works 12 hours a day and sometimes more.  He can't spend the time I do looking through or creating heart healthy recipes and work in the kitchen the hours I do preparing those creations.  So, he would be somewhat lost without my help for a time.  He would figure it out, but he would have to put some work aside for it.

I feel honored and priviledged to be his Heartmate.  He is a good man, and helping him to stay healthy is very important work.

I've had a good example in this endeavor.  My dad had a quintuple bypass about 11 years ago.  My mom did the same things for my dad.  She still does.  She researched and learned what foods were best for him, being a diabetic, and has prepared and monitored his food for many years.  He continues to get the thumbs up from his doctor on his heart, and he's a miracle because since his heart attack he's built a house, a greenhouse, and works in my brother's foundary making bases for my brother's sculptures.  He also gardens and works as a leader in his local church congregation, and he's 78! When he had his heart attack he sustained permanent heart damage, yet he is able to be so active.  He's amazing, and yet, I also believe there's no way he could do all of this without his heartmate.

Mom has set a very good example for me, and Dad's ability to do what he does has been inspiring.

Before DH became ill, I had a lot of distractions pulling on my mind, but this experience has made me very focused on what is most important.  This experience has made me a better partner, but also a better mother. It has made me a better cook, and a better homemaker.  What used to be drudgery, in my homemaking efforts, has become a life's misson, one that I'm fulfilled in doing.

I'll have to go read the book now, so I can get more ideas on how to be an even better heartmate, and so I can post a review for others who might benefit from reading it.

No comments:

Post a Comment